Unrequited Love

 I'm just posting something that's on my mind. How do people deal with rejection? I mean a person can only take so much, I believe. I just want to find a man who likes my personality and yes, my looks. Cleopatrawasn't that ot really and you know she had one of the greatest love affairs of history. I think I may be a little prettier than she, if I may be so bold. I'm no Marilyn Monroe either but maybe somewhere in between.I know for a fact some of the greatest beauties of all time weren't size 2's either. So, I'm wondering if it's my personality I have to attention span of a 2 year old, I admit but if you get me going ona topic I love, I stick to it. I jokingly poke fun at myself, I never mean it harshly. I just love to joke around and yes I can be serious.I try not to take things lightly for the most part tho, unless the occassion calls for it.Thinking about it, I do want someone I'm physically attracted to, as well as emotionally and mentally, I don't want a sexual relationship without attachment, I can't do that. It's just not me. I think I tend to get attached too easily.I know it's said that that it'll happen when you aren't looking but, how can if you are constantly doing so? I think it's what I want the most is a relationship with a man that is so involved. I don't know how lucky I'll be tho.

Too Much Time

This morning I was awake by 7-7:30, yet I can't get up till 11. Lazy-ass mothers, I don't even take 5 mintues to get up. All I ask is to smoke and to get my shower early. I like it like that. I must be asking to much of these people Well this shit is gonna change once I'm mobile again! They WILL get my shower in by 10 am or I go to the administrator. That's a promise. Why is it every other worker except these 2 can get me up on time? I had to call the front desk the other day cos I had a "problem" cos they woudn't deal with me, I was practically balling. I shouldn't have to beg them for shit!  I tod the director of nursing the other day I would like up around 9 am It's a simple task really it takes longer to get my clothes and shoer thing ready, and that is quick. Either I need more patience or they need to get their asses in gear.

Photograph

I'm so bored today I'm uploading photos Mind you these pix are 2-2 1/2 years old. I'mm deleting a lot of them too, that suck ass. I love taking pix. I had more outdoor ones before I thought I'd run out of room and deleted them My idiot mistake. I have a bunch of sky ones left and cats which I haven't shown, don't wanna bore the hell outta ya That's about it for today, over and out.

My Pix

Just curious as to what photos you like best and if u wanna see more,I feel like I shouldn't post the one's with other people unless I have permission, just seems rude I don't have many goofy ones, maybe 2 The rest are experimental Lemme know what you think

Island Time

Ok, crazy idea I have but at least hear me out. I say we all of us into the paranormal, chip in to buy a BIG-ASS island. Less crime and we'd have our transportation to the mainland, not very far either. I think it's a good idea, of course it is mine :-P Maybe a bit idealistic but nice thought none-the-less.I'm thining somewhere, semi haunted to, so we don't get too bored. Our own little Utopia. I suppose ideaology runs in my family.As, some of you may know I have a ver interesting family history at that, that ties in with all this. However I shall save it for another time. Same CAT time same CAT channel!

Disturbed

 I genuinely think I am losing my mind. I can't take my situation anymore. I don't know if it's just me or what, but I feel like I'm about to have a nervous breakdown. I sleep most of the time, or I'm on my computer like now. I have nothing to really look forward to. I feel like there is no end to this. I want a life and quality of life. Is that too much to ask? I just want to get back to what I used to do, go around town and visit people and places. All I hear anymore is people screaming or whining.I don't want to have anything to complain about, seriously, but right now it seems like all I do. I don't know if I'm feeling sorry for myself either or what.

Love Stinks

Ok, well I was told that by the guy I have feelings for that we're just really close friends. I'mm slightly bummed. I mean, I can handle that, kinda. It's better than nothing but damn, when is it my turn to be happy and find love? I realize it's give and take and not always roses, crap like that. I think for once I just like my feelings reciprocated. I'm not babe of the year but I have a personality! Unless I'm just too much trouble to deal with, I have no clue.

Clueless

Ok, starting to have doubts about my giving my crush a note. I'm half tempted to tell him to just throw the stupid thing away. Why is it everytime i like a guy, I start to freak out like a teenager, outta fear of rejection? I'm not wanting to put him on the spot or lose him as a friend, he means the world to me. I just wish I knew what to do. Any advice is welcome.

Love My Way

Sorry it has been so long since I posted last. I haven't had much to write about, till now. As one of you knows, I recently got in touch again with a high school crushh of mine. I did tell him I had a crush on him in HS, but I realized I still have feelings for him.I sent him a couple things in the mail yesterday for his birthday tomorrow, the 10th. One of the things I sent was a little note. I really can't remember everything I put, but the end was I miss you, XO's Brandy. I hope he doesn't think I'm a fruitcake. He did say to me the other night, he wished I lived closer cos he would visit and that I was his only true friend. I feel sad for him, but it's not pity that fuels me. What better person than a friend to have things evolve with? That's all folks.